Couch Groove Football

Detroit - From NFL broadcasting to calling New York Knicks games to his latest gig as the voice of Madden '11, commentator Gus Johnson is riding a wave of momentum, thanks to his enthusiasm and his yelps of excitement during astounding play.

And Johnson knows that no time is better to cash in on his rising fame.

Johnson is charging a minor fee, only $9.99, for his services in providing a commentary track for your homemade sex tapes.

"Gus is very savvy at marketing himself, and it was his idea to go forward with this concept" said Jennifer Gruber, Vice President of GuJo Love Enterprises. "He figures that this novelty is something that sports fans with narcissistic sexual tendencies would want to enjoy."

Johnson's company provided a sample DVD to demonstrate what his service is all about. With lines like "HE'S GIVING IT TO HER!", "WOAHHH, LOOK AT HER TAKE IT!!!!", "UN-BE-LIEVABLE!!!", and "Now he begins to---OH HE CAME! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! ALL OVER HER FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYCE!!!!!!!", there is a blurred line between Johnson's football-announcing style and his amateur-porn-announcing style.

Johnson, however, is facing some scrutiny from parents groups, given that he is the voice of a children's video game that is rated E.

"Gus is aware of the double standard that's in place, and he believes that he can work in varied capacities" Gruber continued. "If Gus Johnson can't scream and blow a cranial load over two or more anonymous people having raw, kinky sex, then perhaps we really did lose the War on Terror."

Johnson's company stipulates that for another $5, he'll bring in his dull, mentality-challenged neighbor to provide color commentary, as he sounds "remarkably like Steve Tasker".